The overwhelming laziness

I feel it is important to do this today, tonight, for I sleep. So, here goes.

It's been roughly 2 months after the 'therapy' began. I told myself to blog after 1 month, and check on my progress. Well, instead of 1 month, I blog after 2 months. (After 1 month) Actually I blogged, but it was on a paper, that is why it is not seen here. Instead there's only this 'after 2 months' blog.

It's 7 days from project dateline, and today I have done nothing. "Procrastination" is a sickness really. Since the last blog, I have been doing short tasks everyday, getting a sense of getting things done everyday, therefore my discipline level have clearly improved by a lot. I even managed to practice violin almost everyday. Which is great, but it is not so in design. I am still lacking discipline and self-motivation on design.

Feeling dread and lazy with design, has been the situation since the beginning of Year 3. The trend goes like this; Year 1: Struggle and Discovery, Year 2: Accomplishment, Year 3: Dread. Often in Year 3, I feel reluctant to do my projects. There's a very strong laziness arising very often in mid of projects. This lazy feeling is so hard to overcome. Every time I overcome it, it comes back every 3 days. Maybe it's because I really hate doing it anymore. Finishing a project is not a 1-3 day job, but 4 weeks job. That is why it is so hard to maintain the fire for an entire month or year.

What do I do? Sometimes I wonder can I get through this, and graduate. This laziness makes me want to quit, like quitting a job. The course stops in end of July. It's just end of February now. What~ Can I do this. I feel I'm going to miss 1 dateline soon, or get bad result, or not graduate.

Lazy god, you are so powerful.
Adulthood, you are so hard to get through.

Therapist:
Wanlee, you have shown improvement with the plans you figured out last time. You've shown improved discipline in your studies. This laziness, dread is another thing that can be controlled, finish it fast. Manage your time well, be productive. You can afford to play hard, spend quality time with your family, and not be affected by you dread for design. Solution: finish your project in a blast!

How? It depends on your skill. You don't have to depend on me, or your friends to motivate you. You are already 22 years old this year. You were an ace in secondery school, and was an ace too in Year 2 Graphic Design too. Managing this is suppose to be easily doable. It may not be easy, it might create some unhappy brain cells in you. But keep your eyes on the rewards, and the happy cells, free time you'll get after you finish your project. Now calculate, to finish the project: 14 days; reward time: 30 days. Wow~ it sounds like a great great deal.

About the schedule, don't worry about it. If you are within the dateline or your schedule, it's fine to be lazy a bit. So remember, the reward. Project, then reward. ok?

Today's writing is not so enjoyable and fluent. ahaha~ I wish this mindset and solution works. Wow, Year 3 is difficult. Being a final year student, this is how it feels.