college sem 2

Do you often feel reluctant about writing your true words out in the internet, either in fb or in your blog, because you know your friends or family may have a free access to your words to you don't want them to know those words. Which in the end, you tell yourself, I'll just keep it to myself. I often come across this dilemma.

Although not much people know about this blog, I am still afraid. The blog was suppose to be a place for us to de-stress like talking to your best friends, but now...

Anyway, start the story. Last week, sem 2 started. We got our results. I got B for Drawing, Project, English, an A for Critical Studies, overall a B. All 4 subjects are equal to 100% and Drawing is 50%. So if someone gets an A in project out of some Cs in other subjects, they got overall A. I'm just figuring out how to get A in art because everything is so subjective even for the marking scheme now.

When we were having dinner including Yee Yen, I mention about my results which everyone already know except her. She said "Lee, I know you're the kind of people who doesn't like to stress yourself but you need to because that's the way to get good result. You know Pa and Ma got no money to support you and if you don't start working hard you are going to lose your scholarship. I hate the kind of people who doesn't go 100% for their goal."

Then I got defensive right away (I don't use to be like that, don't have that patience any more). "How you know I'm not working hard? I don't have correct or wrong answer and syllabus to study from, like in Medicine. I studied and did homework at home for 100 hours and you didn't even see me working at my projects, not even 3 hours. " How can she judge me when she don't have the time to lay an eye when I'm working on art. She is not fit to judge me. Everyone on the table talked defending my side. I said in a joking manner, "you don't have a childhood." because she's stressing so much. Although it's a joke, but it's sound hurting so I apologized when I got home. Because of this, I post something on fb.

And for the record, Mr. Adi (Drawing Lecturer) complimented on my oil pastel work today. Think I'll get good marks on this project.

Since this sem started, I don't know why, but it seems like I'm not so lonely anymore. More people approach me. I'm a little bit bonding with my classmates.